high standards, low expectations

‘ We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.’ - Sam Keen

played for a wedding recently.  the first wedding i’ve ever been to that didnt involve me wearing knee high socks and throwing rose petals all over the place.  watching somebody get married kinda forces you to look at your own life.  i think that works for all major events. funerals make you wonder when you’ll leave this place.  unemployment makes you question about your own abilities and your ‘value’ in the market.  experiencing poverty makes you realise how incredibly blessed you are.  well today the wedding got me thinking a little….

why are there so many more single ladies than guys?  are they just picky? or is there really a poor ratio of men versus ladies?
what happens if the bouquet is broken into 5 pieces by the unmarried ladies crowd?
and what’s with the length of the wedding dress?  why does it have to be so long?  and why are there always a few ladies attending to it and making sure it doesnt get stepped on or get caught onto something?  It’s like the welfare of the dress is more important than the groom.

that night a friend asked me if i have high standards.  i think everybody has begins with high standards.  cuz why would anyone start with low? hopefully, as people age and mature, they begin to realize that nobody is perfect, and their expectations will lower.  no doubt everyone has an ‘ideal’ type in mind, a person who possesses all the key qualities you desire.  more realistically though, i don’t think most people will find such a person.  say if there are 10 key qualities you look for in a person, most likely you’ll meet people from zero upwards, be friends with 3s to 6s, and date a few 5s to 7s.  theres an overlap here because sometimes close friends can become life partners.  sometimes you may meet an 8 or above, but probability is lower.  of course it’s still very possible to meet a 10, but whether you are a 10 to him/her is another story. personally, i think those i respect the most are the couples who on the outside may not seem compatible but work hard and commit and overcome obstacles to remain together.

also, i think these so called ‘qualities’ can be lost, depending on what these qualities are.  if one looks for handsome, rich, kind and caring, the first 2 can be lost most easily.  anything physical or materialistic doesnt last, but sadly these are the things our world most values.  the world says to love somebody outside in, but God says inside out.  hopefully i’ll continue to meet people who sees through the temporal things of this world, and loves people from within.

~ by jontyc on January 14, 2009.